I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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