Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
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Did you just see the Batmobile???
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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