Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize