I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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