i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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