Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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