Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
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Why was I lying under a truck last night?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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