i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize