my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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