Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize