my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's like iHOP with fire
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize