He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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