I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize