Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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