i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize