Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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