Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
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The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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