The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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