His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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