You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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