I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize