im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize