I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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