Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
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This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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