she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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