sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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