I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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