i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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