so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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