She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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