The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize