I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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