I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize