so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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