I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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