What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
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If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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