if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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