Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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