for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize