I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
did you just send me my own nude
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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