from now on my penis is your penis
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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