Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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