I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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