I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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