The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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