the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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