The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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