I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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