please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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