I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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