so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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